By Geil
Browning Geil Browning, Ph.D., is the Founder and CEO of Emergenetics
International. She co-created the Emergenetics Profile , the company's
flagship assessment. @ Emergenetics_ Founder and CEO, Emergenetics
International @ Emergenetics_
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There's a particular four-letter word that we've done our
best to banish from our offices and encouraged our clients to do the
same. It's crude, cold, and highfalutin; and not a word we ever want to
fall upon the tender ears of our Associates. That word--(earmuffs
kids!)--is BUSY. And it all has to do with the way your brain works.
Positive psychology is having a heyday right now, but the impact on your brain by both positive and negative words is really nothing new. Negative words, such as busy, create neural changes in your brain
and can make a person highly anxious or depressed. The chemicals
released in response to a negative word interrupt your brain's normal
functions, impair logic, reason, language processing, and communication.
Ok, that's enough neuroscience. When you think about it,
busy is the posterchild for negativity. Imagine a child asking a parent
to read a bedtime story only to be met with an "I'm busy". Ouch. A high
school student getting up the courage to ask someone on a date and then
crushed with an "I'm busy". Remember land lines, pre-call waiting? We
were all helpless against the abrasive tone of the busy signal. And
let's face it, if you need something--anything--from
someone--anyone--the very last words you want to hear are "I'm busy."
Busy work, busybody. Negative. "How've you been?" you ask.
"Really busy" he replies. "As if I'm not?" you think. I really can't
think of one usage of the word that does not at least hint of
negativity. Unfortunately, even though "busy" is a word nobody ever
wants to hear, that doesn't stop many of us from using it.
So how do we avoid using that four letter word, and how does
it help us? We explain the negativity of the word with our team members
and that, when it comes down to it, "busy" is a cop out. By eliminating
that escape hatch from our vocabulary we encourage people to
thoughtfully consider the situation rather than dismissing a request out
of hand.
Here's what I mean--Angie had an hour long meeting at 2:00
and another meeting at 4:00. Maleka needed 10 minutes of Angie's time at
3:30. With "busy" in her toolbox, Angie could have shot this request
down with a simple "Sorry, I'm busy with meetings." Without "busy",
though, Angie might really think about it; she might now say "I have a
meeting until 3:00 and my next one doesn't start until 4:00." Just
hearing yourself say that out loud, I honestly believe, makes it tougher
to support your case that you can't lend someone 10 minutes of your
time in between meetings.
And when you really are up to your ears in it, up against
deadlines and feeling the stress? When you're what you heretofore
considered busy and are asked for something that you honestly do not
have time to tackle? Be honest about it- but you can still do so without
saying busy. A simple, "I'm sorry, I am actively working on several
projects with pending deadlines. Let's aim for tomorrow." The requester
will appreciate knowing what you are up against at the very least, and
may even be able to offer you help.
We all know someone who is perpetually "busy". When we need
help on a project or even just to hang out socially, it's always the
same. And what happens? That person becomes known for being busy and we
stop asking if we can help.
In my organization we are constantly striving to maintain our own positive culture
while helping our clients do the same. So where we can accentuate the
positive and eliminate the negative, we do it wholeheartedly! If we ever
feel the need to say busy instead we'll say we are "actively pursuing
our goals". Nixing busy from our vocabulary was any easy decision. Now
that you've read this, I guarantee you'll flinch the next time you hear
that four-letter word and be hesitant to use it yourself.
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
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