By Geoffrey
James Geoffrey James , a contributing editor for Inc.com, is an author
and professional speaker whose award-winning blog, Sales Source, appears
daily on Inc.com. His most recent book is Business Without the
Bullsh*t: 49 Secrets and Shortcuts You Need to Know . To get your sales
message critiqued for free, subscribe to his free weekly Sales Source
newsletter . @ Sales_Source Contributing editor, Inc.com @ Sales_Source
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I've read hundreds of "how to succeed" articles and books but the
best advice I ever encountered came from the great Napoleon Hill: "Think
twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the
seed of either success or failure in the mind of another."
That's the general rule but it's easier to apply when reduced to a simple conversational trick than anybody can use immediately to become more popular and respected:
That's the general rule but it's easier to apply when reduced to a simple conversational trick than anybody can use immediately to become more popular and respected:
Pause a full second before responding.
This tiny change in your daily behavior reaps enormous benefits:1. It prevents you from interrupting.
When you interrupt people, you're telling them you don't
respect them. If you interrupt because you know what they're going to
say, you're adding insult to injury by implying that they're boring.
By contrast, when you pause before responding, you're
telling people that you care about them and their ideas. You're showing
respect and will naturally get more respect in return.
2. It gives you time to focus.
Most people use the "Ready, Fire, Aim" approach to business
communications. They get so caught up in the flow of the discussion that
they blurt out useless or even damaging information.
However, every conversation should have a purpose,
especially in business. (Otherwise why bother?). Pausing gives you time
to "aim" your remarks where they'll do the most mutual good.
3. It makes you more articulate.
Many people speak in run-on sentences punctuated by verbal
tics (such as "like", "uh...", and "you know") that give them time to
think about what to say next. Because they're making things up on the
fly, they sound inarticulate.
Pausing before you speak gives you time to collect and order
your thoughts so that you can communicate more clearly in complete
sentences that make sense from the start.
4. It makes you seem smarter.
Talking a blue streak without ever pausing to think makes
people think of you as a motor-mouth. And nobody respects a motor-mouth,
even if they're glib.
Pausing before speaking, however, leaves listeners the
impression that you're a deep thinker. As a result, anything you say
will likely be interpreted as words of wisdom.
Not only will this trick make you more popular and respected
at work, it will also bring you closer to your family and friends.
Every time you pause, you're giving a gift of love and respect. And
that's a good thing in any relationship.
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
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